Trauma & Challenging Behaviour in Nurseries

Have you ever had a child lash out at others… or completely shut down emotionally… and felt unsure how to respond?
You’re not alone.
A recent report by the Anna Freud Centre found that many early years practitioners don’t feel prepared to support children experiencing trauma, aggression, or even bereavement.
But in this video, I’ll give you the confidence to face these challenges head-on with compassion, structure, and support.

[Intro]
Hi, I’m Curtly Ania, founder of Open a Nursery UK. I help people open and run successful nurseries and part of that is helping them feel prepared for the real emotional challenges that come with caring for young children.
If you work in a nursery or are thinking about opening one this video is going to be incredibly useful.

If you want more real, honest content like this about both the business side and the emotional side of running a nursery hit that subscribe button.
Also check out my videos on dealing with Ofsted, finding staff, and building a strong curriculum.

We all know the early years are a crucial time in a child’s development.
But behind the giggles and play-dough are real stories children who’ve seen more than they should have, or who are grieving, or who can’t yet process their emotions.
The Anna Freud Centre found that many staff in early years settings feel untrained and unsupported when it comes to helping children with trauma.
That’s heartbreaking because these children need our care the most.

And often, it’s the practitioners on the front line nursery workers, key persons, room leaders who are faced with these incredibly emotional behaviours and expected to manage them alone.
But with the right knowledge, empathy, and consistency, you can absolutely support children through their healing and emotional regulation.

Today, I want to show you some of the practical strategies and mindset shifts that have helped me, my team, and the nursery owners I mentor deal with even the most complex behaviours in a calm, professional, and loving way.

[2. Understanding the Roots of Challenging Behaviour]
Challenging behaviour doesn’t come out of nowhere.
What looks like defiance, aggression, or withdrawal… is often a response to pain.

🚸 Children who’ve experienced trauma may:

• Have difficulty regulating emotions
• Show hyperactivity or aggression
• Struggle to form attachments or trust adults
• Use ‘controlling’ behaviour as a coping mechanism

We have to remember: behaviour is communication.
When you see a child refusing to follow instructions or lashing out, pause and ask:
“What’s going on behind this behaviour? What might this child need right now?”

Practical Tip: Keep a behaviour journal or ABC chart (Antecedent, Behaviour, Consequence). This will help you spot patterns, identify triggers, and adapt your environment or routines accordingly. For example, does a meltdown always follow transitions? Is it linked to noise, crowds, or a specific activity?

[3. Practical Strategies for Supporting Children with Trauma]
Let’s go into some trauma-informed practices you can use in your nursery setting.

🧸 1. Predictability and Routine
Children with trauma often feel like the world is unsafe and unpredictable. Providing a clear, predictable environment is the first step to helping them feel secure.

• Use visual timetables and daily picture schedules.
• Give countdowns before transitions: “In five minutes, we’ll tidy up.”
• Reinforce routine phrases: “After lunch, we read a story.”
  This structure helps reduce anxiety and empowers children to anticipate what comes next.

❤️ 2. Emotion Coaching
Instead of trying to shut down a child’s big emotion, lean into it.

• “I can see you’re really frustrated right now. It’s okay to feel that way.”
• “Let’s stomp our feet together, then take some deep breaths.”
  This teaches children that their emotions are valid and manageable.
  Create an ’emotions board’ with faces showing different feelings. Use it during circle time to build emotional vocabulary.

🧠 3. Sensory Tools
Some behaviours stem from sensory overwhelm too much noise, light, or stimulation.

• Provide fidget toys, chewable jewellery, weighted lap pads, or soft-texture items.
• Create calm zones or sensory tents with dim lighting and soothing visuals.
  Give children the language: “Do you need your squishy toy?” “Shall we go to the quiet tent?”

👂 4. One-to-One Support & Attachment Figures
Traumatised children need relationships built on consistency and trust.
Assign a stable, emotionally available key worker and protect that bond.
Make time for short check-ins: “How are you feeling today?”
Celebrate small moments of connection: a hug, shared smile, or storytime together.

🫂 5. Don’t Take It Personally
This is for your wellbeing.
If a child lashes out, refuses to join in, or calls you names it’s not about you.
You’re likely witnessing a trauma response. Keep your body language soft, stay close but non-threatening, and offer them safe space.
They may test boundaries and relationships repeatedly your calmness is what teaches them that adults can be trusted.

[4. What About Bereavement or Grief?]
Young children don’t grieve the same way adults do. Their understanding of death develops gradually.

📚 Use Storybooks
Books like Goodbye Mog, The Memory Tree, or Water Bugs and Dragonflies can open up discussion around death and loss.
Read slowly. Pause. Ask open questions like “How do you think the bunny feels?”

🤝 Open Communication with Parents
Check in gently: “Would it be okay to talk about what’s happened in nursery?”
Respect their preferences and cultural or religious beliefs. Ask what they’ve explained to the child and use the same terms in nursery.

🎨 Creative Expression
Children may not have words but they can draw sadness, act it out with dolls, or show it through play.
Offer paints, small-world play, or emotion puppets as outlets. Follow their lead and be ready to listen.

[5. Support for YOU as a Nursery Owner or Practitioner]
Working with children who’ve experienced trauma is emotional. You need your own support, too.

If you’re a nursery owner, build in regular debrief sessions with your team.

• Encourage reflective practice journals.
• Hold short trauma-awareness meetings every term.
• Celebrate staff who handle tough moments well.

If you’re a practitioner don’t suffer in silence.

• Speak to your SENCo.
• Use supervision sessions to offload.
• Seek out external CPD or sign up for free webinars (Anna Freud Centre and YoungMinds offer brilliant ones).

And if you’re in the process of opening your own nursery, this is something I cover in my Complete Mentorship Package not just the paperwork and policies, but the emotional side of running a nursery.
From helping your team understand trauma, to creating calming environments and handling difficult conversations with parents I can guide you through it.

💬 Drop a comment below if you’ve ever supported a child through trauma or grief what worked for you?
👍 Like this video if it gave you practical tips, and share it with another nursery worker who might benefit.
🔔 Subscribe for more videos that give you the real tools to run a successful, emotionally intelligent nursery.

And if you want personalised support in setting up your own nursery or building trauma-informed practices into your setting visit openanursery.co.uk.
You’re not alone and you’re doing incredible work.

Thank you for watching.